Self-Discovery
Everyone has some sort of idea about his or her knowledge of self. You attain this knowledge of self by interacting with others. This comes through many avenues. You can get it from feedback from others, socializing, reflected appraisal, etc. This is not something that is only gained from friends and family, but by those, we interact with as well via school and or religious affiliation.
The vast majority of our self-knowledge comes from socialization (Taylor, Peplau, & Sears, 2006). We interact with various people as we grow up. The kids we meet in school, our parents, the teachers, everyone who has some type of role in our lives contribute to our self-knowledge. As I grew up, my grandmother would take me out to eat at different places and teach me things. The things that I learned from her help formulate an idea of who I was in comparison to others around me. Since I my grandmother taught me how to use a knife and fork properly, I came to think of myself as savvy.
The same sources that we learn about ourselves through socialization, we form knowledge of self from reflected appraisal (Taylor, Peplau, & Sears, 2006). The evaluations we have from teachers, for instance, let us know what kind of person we are. This allows us to change either for the better or for worse. This is true of our friends’ evaluations of us as well. Their perceptions of us gives us an idea of who we are.
As we continue to grow up, we get feed back from others about who we are (Taylor, Peplau, & Sears, 2006). Parents and teachers have a huge roll in this. As they encourage us or push us in a particular direction. As I was growing up, my mother and teachers at school told me that I was a good pianist and musician. I ended up going to a school for gifted kids in the arts as a result. As long as I continued to receive feedback from them about my piano playing abilities, I thought of myself as being a good pianist and associated myself with that. That was perception I had of myself that was reinforced by others.
From the time I was young, my interaction with my parents and teachers provided a wealth of information for me to draw my knowledge of self. A lot of it started with my grandmother who taught me the importance of how to act and behave in public. The more she spent time with me and took me out the more I begin to associate the way I behave with myself. This led to self-regulation. Through observational learning, I was able to know what I could and could not do around others.
As an employee, I have spent a fair amount of time improving myself. I learn as much as I can and became a subject matter expert in most of the things that I study concerning my job. At one point in time, I used to admire the quote from Karl Lagerfeld where he said; “My thing is to work harder than the others to show them how useless they are”. My motivation for self-improvement was through making others look bad. As time moved on, I continued to improve but my attitude changed. I always had a need for self-enhancement and this was one of the things that drove me in that direction. I am sure I had many positive illusions concerning myself as well. It was through working around others that I became more aware of myself and how others perceived me. This allowed me to make adjustments and change.
Getting along with others now has a major role in my life. Therefore, I value teamwork more than being the person who knows everything. If someone can benefit from what I know, that is great. I value healthy competition. Being able to assist others has made me a happier person not only in my work life, but in my personal life as well. It’s one thing to try and make others look bad by doing more than them or showing how much more you may know. However, there is no happiness to be gained out of it. You may temporarily be satisfied, but you are quickly alienated. You can still look good without being an irritating contemptible person.