Generations of Faith and Family: A Conversation Across Time

One is able to tell the differences on how culture has changed by speaking to either the younger or older generations. Over time, things that were once acceptable to use may not be acceptable in later years. I will be taking a look at the how culture has changed among my own indigenous culture through the eyes of a mid-60s African American woman and detail her experiences in comparison to my own.

When my interview subject grew up, it was at a time where there were still very few rights for African Americans in this country. Having grown up during the time of the Civil Rights Movement, her indigenous identity has changed drastically over the years. Although our experiences differ, there are quite a few similarities between how she was raised and how I was raised.

My subject’s was born in New York City, New York to a family that wasn’t very religious. Religion didn’t play a very strong role. However, her mother encouraged her to go to church even though she herself chose not to go. There was no paternal influence within her household as well. Any guidance she would receive outside of her mother would be by way of neighbors, one specifically she called her grandmother. Her “grandmother” would be the encouraging force for her religious studies and the encouragement for her to study scripture and be part of the church.

Despite her mother only having an 8^(th) grade education, getting a higher education was pushed an encouraged in her household. In a practice that we do not normally see today, her mother was married at the age of 14. Her views mimic that of her mother as far as raising her own children up very strictly. Her mother, she says, raised them with good values. To be honest, not to steal, and to always tell the truth. The way she differed from her mother with regards to her children is that her children were brought up with a religious upbringing. Out of her three children, two of them are agnostic and only one actively practices Islam.

When it came to the balance of power within the household, she mentioned that her husband, in both marriages, made the majority of the decisions. Her husband was the breadwinner of the house. She also stated that it was somewhat of a partnership. They would discuss if there were any major decisions or changes, but the last word always ended with her husband. In her second marriage, she mentioned that she attempted to follow the role of the traditional Muslim woman and take a subservient role to her husband and allow him to make all of the decisions without her and that didn’t work out so well for her.

Her upbringing mimics my own by way of having another person in charge of my religious studies. In my case, it was my maternal grandmother. My mother, at first, wasn’t a very religious person. She was would go from church to church only if there was something she could get out of it. My grandmother on the other hand was very consistent with me in attending religious services. Unlike my subject, my grandmother was the person who raised me.

When it comes to the balance of power in my household, we tend to follow a traditional Islamic paradigm with regards to that. Much like my subject’s marriages, I am the sole breadwinner in the house. According to our religious beliefs, it’s the man’s role to provide for the family. Also, when it comes to decisions, as the head of the house, I tend to make the decisions that concern the welfare of the family. Much like my subject’s marriages, I also discuss those decisions with my wife.

My mother has only been married once in her life. That was well after I was born. It was to my second brother’s father. Unfortunately, that was the only male that I was introduced to in my life while growing up and it didn’t last long. So there was no balance of power within my own household while growing up.

My subject cites some of the biggest changes and influences that happened to her in her life was due to the changing of her religious beliefs. I also feel the same way. Some of the things that we found acceptable as a non-Muslim were considered morally corrupt under Islam. If anything, we both feel that we had become better human beings as a result of our conversion. We also feel that we had become more appreciative of life and the role of God in our lives.

Though we grew up at different times, some things haven’t changed from the time that my subject grew up. The role of the male has been an elusive part of the African American community, with a lot of households only having a single parent family. Religion plays a part, but not as much as it may have once done in years prior to her mother. Gender roles have typically been the same, with the male being the leader and breadwinner of the household. Part of this is due to religious views and the role of the man in Islamic society. This is something that more than likely will not change in the coming years due to it being a law written in stone among Muslims. Though there are differences, some things remain the same.